Everyone likes to lead a happy marriage and work for it in deferent ways. Some try to find a model to follow. These both ways shall not make a marriage happy. Whatever effort you make no use, not the effort that makes a marriage happy. If you follow some example, that shall also not work in your particular relation because you cannot become someone else and if you try to follow some example, there is also a chance of falling in danger. Why?
We can see many happy couples live around us now a day; in parks, in restaurants, in coffee cafes, in internet cafes, along with road sides, so and so we can see them spending time laughing, playing games, cracking jokes etc. If we decide to follow such a life, means follow such an example; we have to ask ourselves a question. Whether they are leading happy lives? Then what kind of happiness they experience? Long lasting one or momentary? Then another question comes along with these questions, how we will know these facts? Again ask why they are happy? Now you are close to the matter. Most of the happy couples we see in such places are happy because they have enough to spend. They will have a good bank balance, sometimes a good income from business or a good family asset. So they are leading a life of pleasure or enjoying consumerism. You may not able to lead such a happy life because of the lack of such wealth and assets. They may lead such a life as long as they have the material resource to live so. Again we should ask a question if these people come to a situation in which they lose everything and at the brim of starvation, can they be happy? No, most of them will blame each other, sometimes blame and curse their marriage. So this kind of happiness is not absolute happiness or joy but it depended. So following example of every happy couple is not wise.
A real happy marriage is pivoted on unconditional ‘love'. If it is so, in any social and financial conditions the couple can maintain joy in their life. As long as this unconditional emotion's presence is not there between spouses, a happy marriage is not possible, no use in working hard to mend marriage and following an example. Such a true love is divine, for such divine love man/woman will give up anything and in turn, that kind of love motivates and energizes them without limit. The best example is King Edward who abdicated crown to live with Wallis Simpson. The King signed the Instrument of Abdication on 10 December 1936, in the presence of his three surviving brothers, the Duke of York (who would ascend the throne the following day as George VI), the Duke of Gloucester and the Duke of Kent. Special laws passed by the Parliaments of the Dominions finalized Edward's abdication the following day. On 11 December 1936, Edward said in a radio broadcast, "I have found it impossible to carry the heavy burden of responsibility, and to discharge my duties as King as I would wish to do, without the help and support of the woman I love".
And marriage life is a bilateral process. If one side is not willing the total relation is in danger, so it is not possible by being only one partner faithful and loving to make marriage happy and fine. Jesus is the greatest example of unconditional love. His ministry and church are considered as his bride. He loved intensely his bride, but his bride betrayed him because his love was unconditional but his ministry's, his bride's, was not so. The unconditional love existed between them was not bilateral. That led to the crucifixion, the biggest tragedy in the human history. So we have to care the love that we maintain to be unconditional and bilateral in marriage life. If our love in marriage is conditional and nonbilateral, that is a betrayal and it will lead to a crucifixion.
Check always our heart to see whether I set any condition before my spouse for anything. If it is so then it means within a short time your marriage is going to ruin because the love is not unconditional and divine. Most of the love we see around us is generated from the culture of consumerism; use, exploit maximum then avoid. Means the love we maintain is to exploit, to use. That love is a love of consumerism, not divine. Sometimes we will get instructions and advice to behave conditionally with our spouse, beware away from such company.
What will happen if we set such condition for love from the side of our spouse? What does it mean by setting condition for love? Means, if the condition is not fulfilled, I will seek the place for love where it is fulfilled. In this juncture, not the love we value but the condition. That's betrayal for thirty silver coins. All those love for material benefit, convenience or comfort are betraying love. I can point out a real event occurred here in Cochin, Kerala, India.
In Cochin, there is a naval base. There are quarters for navy officers in Cochin naval base. As we know navy officers draw good salary and allowances. Their lives are very comfortable and luxurious. They used to get together often for dinner with their spouses. Their spouses enjoyed the special allowance and other convenience for the spouses of naval officers. So they loved this special status and convenience more than their officer husbands. So gradually their indulgence became in these conditions, means they loved their husbands conditionally, they loved them because of these conditions. The officers' mentalities were also the same. So gradually their love became towards only the conditions where they had been. They decided to enjoy it maximum. So in one get together and dinner they decided to enjoy the conditions maximum swapping wives. They carried out their plan and continued as a routine in their get-togethers, but one estranged wife of an officer filed a case in Kerala high court against this immoral activity. The court has ordered to conduct police inquiry into this case.
We can understand from this that where the conditional love takes us to and where the unconditional love takes us to, in our marriage lives.
A real happy marriage is pivoted on unconditional ‘love'. If it is so, in any social and financial conditions the couple can maintain joy in their life. As long as this unconditional emotion's presence is not there between spouses, a happy marriage is not possible, no use in working hard to mend marriage and following an example. Such a true love is divine, for such divine love man/woman will give up anything and in turn, that kind of love motivates and energizes them without limit. The best example is King Edward who abdicated crown to live with Wallis Simpson. The King signed the Instrument of Abdication on 10 December 1936, in the presence of his three surviving brothers, the Duke of York (who would ascend the throne the following day as George VI), the Duke of Gloucester and the Duke of Kent. Special laws passed by the Parliaments of the Dominions finalized Edward's abdication the following day. On 11 December 1936, Edward said in a radio broadcast, "I have found it impossible to carry the heavy burden of responsibility, and to discharge my duties as King as I would wish to do, without the help and support of the woman I love".
And marriage life is a bilateral process. If one side is not willing the total relation is in danger, so it is not possible by being only one partner faithful and loving to make marriage happy and fine. Jesus is the greatest example of unconditional love. His ministry and church are considered as his bride. He loved intensely his bride, but his bride betrayed him because his love was unconditional but his ministry's, his bride's, was not so. The unconditional love existed between them was not bilateral. That led to the crucifixion, the biggest tragedy in the human history. So we have to care the love that we maintain to be unconditional and bilateral in marriage life. If our love in marriage is conditional and nonbilateral, that is a betrayal and it will lead to a crucifixion.
Check always our heart to see whether I set any condition before my spouse for anything. If it is so then it means within a short time your marriage is going to ruin because the love is not unconditional and divine. Most of the love we see around us is generated from the culture of consumerism; use, exploit maximum then avoid. Means the love we maintain is to exploit, to use. That love is a love of consumerism, not divine. Sometimes we will get instructions and advice to behave conditionally with our spouse, beware away from such company.
What will happen if we set such condition for love from the side of our spouse? What does it mean by setting condition for love? Means, if the condition is not fulfilled, I will seek the place for love where it is fulfilled. In this juncture, not the love we value but the condition. That's betrayal for thirty silver coins. All those love for material benefit, convenience or comfort are betraying love. I can point out a real event occurred here in Cochin, Kerala, India.
In Cochin, there is a naval base. There are quarters for navy officers in Cochin naval base. As we know navy officers draw good salary and allowances. Their lives are very comfortable and luxurious. They used to get together often for dinner with their spouses. Their spouses enjoyed the special allowance and other convenience for the spouses of naval officers. So they loved this special status and convenience more than their officer husbands. So gradually their indulgence became in these conditions, means they loved their husbands conditionally, they loved them because of these conditions. The officers' mentalities were also the same. So gradually their love became towards only the conditions where they had been. They decided to enjoy it maximum. So in one get together and dinner they decided to enjoy the conditions maximum swapping wives. They carried out their plan and continued as a routine in their get-togethers, but one estranged wife of an officer filed a case in Kerala high court against this immoral activity. The court has ordered to conduct police inquiry into this case.
We can understand from this that where the conditional love takes us to and where the unconditional love takes us to, in our marriage lives.
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